*Heirloom = (1) Any piece of property that goes to an heir as part of an estate; or
(2) Any treasured possession handed down from generation to generation.
(* from New World Dictionary of the American Language, Second College Edition)
We hope to avoid any haggling over the “heirloom bones” by our descendents after we have passed away. Just reading about what is going on now in South Africa over the literal bones of Mandela’s relatives and, probably, over Mandela’s eventual burial place gives us the creeps. That news has been timely as we’ve immersed ourselves in research and discussions about end-of-life decisions this past month. Being a blended family brings some unique considerations to the fore. Both of us were previously widowed after long first marriages and have now been married to each other for almost ten years. At 70 and 81 years of age, having both experienced some serious health crises in the last several years, we found that it was time to re-do our wills and also to complete Enduring Powers of Attorney (granting financial control to a trustee if we became incapable of handling our affairs) and Representative Agreements (the name for “living wills” or end-of-life directives in our province of British Columbia).
This brings up a special problem that many blended families face, especially those of us who had a second marriage later in life, have grown children (grandchildren and even great-grandchildren) from our previous marriages and have brought a significant amount of “items” into our joined household from our previous households. What happens to those items we each brought into the marriage, especially those items that one would consider a family heirloom? Normally, if one spouse dies, everything remains with the surviving spouse. However, for us, we needed to consider what would happen to the “Morrans family items” for instance, if Ian should die and Gayle survive? Or what would happen to the “Johannesson family items” if Gayle should die and Ian survive? These items do not have a great financial value; however, we and our families attach a great deal of sentimental value to them. Our solution was to specify in our wills that when each of us dies, those items that were brought into our marriage from the previous marriage be given to our own children from that marriage at the time of our death and not be retained by the surviving spouse. We feel that can avoid potential problems for all parties in the future.
A second problem was what to do about copyrights that belong to an author of published or unpublished works when that author dies. Thirdly, because Gayle has specific religious concerns, she also wanted to completely plan out her funeral and we both wanted to leave specific instructions for disposal of our bodies. We will share our solutions to the blended family problem first.
When we married in September 2003, Ian had been retired for several years but Gayle was still working, not yet having reached retirement age. She continued to work until taking an early retirement in July 2004. We had sold Ian’s house just after our marriage and Ian had moved into Gayle’s house with some of his furniture and household items but had given a lot of such items to his family members who lived in the same town. We had bought a large motor home and planned to drive it to Mexico to see if we wanted to retire there permanently. Thus, we decided to sell most of the furniture and household items, retaining those most important to us which we put into storage, intending to have it sent to Mexico if we decided to stay there permanently. After a year we decided that we preferred to return to Canada but to another province where the weather was more desirable. It took another year and a half to get organized, put our Mexican house up for sale and finally sell it. Now, here we are in British Columbia with a house full of “his”, “hers” and “our” stuff. We wanted to be sure that the “his” and “hers” stuff would eventually be given to “his” or “her” appropriate family members.
Gayle worked for several long days going through everything and making two lists of the appropriate items. Then we worked together to designate how the items would be divided amongst our various family members.
This is the wording with which we began our list:
LIST OF ARTICLES AND BENEFICIARIES* – For Wills of Gayle & Ian Moore-Morrans *This is an addendum to the Wills of Gayle Irene Moore-Morrans and Ian Moore-Morrans. We are listing only those items that we wish to bequeath which we each brought into our marriage in September 2003 from the families of Gayle Irene Moore Johannesson and Ian Morrans. Any items not listed here are to be considered Moore-Morrans estate residue. A list of family members to whom we wish to bequeath these items is on page X.
The following headings were listed at the top of each page:
ITEMS FAMILY ITEMS BENEFICIARY LOCATION Johannesson Morrans
The following categories were used to list the items:
FURNITURE CARPETS & FLOOR COVERS HOUSEHOLD LINEN CLOTHING & SHOES DISHES, CHINA, FLATWARE, SERVING PIECES JEWELRY/WATCHES ARTWORK HEIRLOOMS COLLECTIONS (BOOKS, COINS, CDS, DVDS, ETC.) TOOLS
At the end we listed the designated recipients of each family’s heritage item and their family relationship to us plus their date of birth:
Example:
Daughter of Gayle Moore-Morrans: Jane Ann Doe, neé Johannesson, DOB Jan 00, 1977
MOOMOR PUBLISHING 